PLAYHOUSE OF THE DAMNED
"Feast of the Vampires"
by Richard Nathan
The spotlight is up on our host, GUS THE GHOUL, while the stage is set up for the next story, which takes place in a dark room inhabited by vampires. Gus speaks to the audience:
Are you hungry for more? Or
completely fed up? Do you have a taste
for horror - or do you have no taste at
all? You must have come here for
some reason. Maybe you were hoping
for something like our next story, which
we call “The Feast of the Vampires.“
Are you hungry for more? Or
Gus exits. Lights come up on a dark room inhabited by two VAMPIRES.
This is my favorite holiday.
Absolutely. My very favorite.
How long have you been a vampire?
Almost a year.
And what did you do last month, at
I take it you didn’t catch anyone?
No. I couldn’t find anyone who wasn’t in a
crowd of people. How did you know I didn’t
Because if you had, you’d know why I hate
Halloween. The blood on Halloween night.
The sugar! Why do you think? All the
humans have so much sugar running
through their veins, it’s sickening!
All the humans? Not just the children?
The adults keep huge bowls of candy by
the door, supposedly for the children, but
they must keep sampling! And soon the
sugar content in their blood is so high that
sucking their blood is like drinking pure
corn syrup. You get such a sugar rush,
it’s impossible to sleep! Every year, I spend
November First writhing in my coffin,
desperately trying to sleep, but the damn
sugar keeps me awake all day long, all
day crammed into that damned little coffin,
screaming with frustration!
Maybe you should fast on Halloween.
There‘s no maybe about it. I know I should
fast. But it’s like the adults with the bowl of
candy. It’s too hard not to give in to the desire
for a taste. But enough about Halloween!
Tonight I can feast, knowing tomorrow I will
sleep. Tonight is Thanksgiving.
But don‘t they have pumpkin pie?
Yes, but the turkey! The turkey makes up
for it. There‘s something in turkey called
tryptophan. The humans’ blood is filled with
it after a Thanksgiving meal. We drink their
blood and we get the tryptophan - the elixir
of sleep! We can drink deeply tonight and
sleep well tomorrow. The best sleep of the
I know all about tryptophan. Scientists
don‘t believe there's enough in turkey to
make people sleepy.
Scientists don‘t believe in vampires.
That shows how much they know.
Are you feeling hungry?
Yes. I am.
So am I. I think our meal has been steeping
in fear long enough. Time to begin the feast!
Click here to go to another PLAYHOUSE OF THE DAMNED story
© 2007 by Richard Nathan. All rights reserved
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