SCIENCE
FICTION BLAST-OFF THEATER
"The Counselor"
by Richard Nathan
Before the lights come up, a voice announces the title of the story:
VOICE
"The Counselor"
On stage is a table with three chairs behind it, and in the middle of the table is an odd-looking piece of equipment that can be connected by wires to each of the three people who will be sitting at the table. DR. SKINNER, a scientist, is examining the equipment, making certain that it is in working order. Skinner picks up a hand-held remote control device and uses it to test the equipment.
Enter two of Dr. Skinner's patients, MR. AND MRS. HOPPER.
DR. SKINNER
Mr. and Mrs. Hopper! I believe we're
nearly ready!
MR. HOPPER
Where's Marsha?
DR. SKINNER
She'll be in momentarily. We want to prep you
first. So if you will be seated, I'll hook you
up to the counselor.
Mr. and Mrs. Hopper sit at the table and Dr. Skinner hooks them up to the equipment.
MR. HOPPER
Why do you call it the counselor?
DR. SKINNER
In the old days, people sometimes went to a
family counselor to modify the behavior of
someone who was making the family unhappy.
Our counselor does the same thing, but more
directly,
using the DNA.
MRS. HOPPER
If you're taking our DNA, why won't that hurt
us?
DR. SKINNER
We aren't taking your DNA, we're copying it. It
won't affect you any more than photocopying a
manuscript affects the
original pages.
DR. SKINNER
I think we're ready to bring in Marsha. You
understand she's not particularly happy about this.
MR. HOPPER
She hasn't been happy with anything I've done for over
ten years. Why should this be any different?
DR. SKINNER
We had to sedate her, slightly. That's standard
procedure. It won't affect the process.
Dr. Skinner touches something on his remote control device. A moment later, a NURSE brings in MARSHA HOPPER, the teenaged daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Hopper. It seems obvious that Marsha is under extremely heavy sedation.
MR. HOPPER
Good morning, Marsha.
Marsha speaks with great difficulty.
MARSHA
I want you to burn in hell for ever.
MRS. HOPPER
We love you, dear.
MARSHA
Bite me.
The nurse seats Marsha in the third chair at the table and hooks her up to the equipment.
MRS. HOPPER
We only want you to be happy.
MARSHA
I only want you to burn in hell.
MR. HOPPER
Do you know how much we're spending on
this? I don't expect you to be grateful, but
you might try to be civil!
Marsha notices that she is hooked up to the equipment.
MARSHA
What are you doing?
DR. SKINNER
Marsha, you know how when you're sick, a
doctor will give you an injection to make you
well? In order to make you a healthier person,
we're going to inject you with some of your
parents' DNA.
MARSHA
What do I get first, the fat cow gene or the mean
bastard gene?
MRS. HOPPER
I only hope look half as nice as I do when
you're my age.
MARSHA
I hate you too.
DR. SKINNER
Your genetic code already comes from your
parents. We're only making some adjustments.
MARSHA
Because the world doesn't already have enough
fat cows and mean bastards.
DR. SKINNER
Tell me, Marsha, do you think your parents have any
nice qualities at all?
MARSHA
I could rent them out to bulimics who want to vomit.
Dr. Skinner touches his remote unit, and Marsha goes into a trance. He makes some adjustments on the dial, and Marsha comes out of the trance.
DR. SKINNER
Didn't you ever like them?
MARSHA
Maybe when I was really young and really
stupid.
Dr. Skinner again uses his remote unit to put Marsha in a trance, make some adjustments, and take her out of the trance.
DR. SKINNER
What did you like about then when you were
younger?
MARSHA
Little kids like their parents.
DR. SKINNER
Try to remember why you liked them.
Dr. Skinner again uses his remote unit to put Marsha in a trance, make some adjustments, and take her out of the trance.
MARSHA
They were nicer then. And they took care of
me.
DR. SKINNER
Did they love you?
MARSHA
Yes.
DR. SKINNER
Did you love them?
Marsha doesn't answer. Dr. Skinner again uses his remote unit to put Marsha in a trance, make some adjustments, and take her out of the trance.
DR. SKINNER
Marsha? Did you love them?
MARSHA
Yes.
DR. SKINNER
Why?
MARSHA
They were Mommy and Daddy.
DR. SKINNER
Aren't they still Mommy and Daddy?
MARSHA
Yes.
DR. SKINNER
I think you've said a lot of things that hurt their
feelings today.
MARSHA
I know. And I'm so sorry for being such a brat!
I promise I will do everything I can for the rest of my
life to make it up to you. I love you with all
my heart.
MRS. HOPPER
Darling!
Mr. and Mrs. Hopper go into a trance as Dr. Skinner touches the remote unit.
DR. SKINNER
They can't hear you now.
Marsha stops pretending to be sedated.
MARSHA
Finally! I was about to vomit. I
don't suppose I'm permitted to hit them?
DR. SKINNER
Better not. It might leave a mark.
MARSHA
I thought we agreed you weren't going to
change me?
DR. SKINNER
That's what we agreed.
MARSHA
Then why did you alter my intelligence?
DR. SKINNER
What makes you think I did?
MARSHA
I'm not an idiot, doctor. At least not now, thanks to
you. I'd judge my I.Q. must be ten points higher
than it was ten minutes ago.
DR. SKINNER
Twenty, actually. I thought it might help you to keep
our secret.
MARSHA
Anything else?
DR. SKINNER
A slight increase in your acting skills. That's all, I
promise.
MARSHA
We'll see.
She reaches into a pocket and takes out a piece of paper, which she reads.
DR. SKINNER
You brought a test! I'm not surprised. Most of my
clients
bring tests
to make sure I've kept my word.
Go ahead! I'm sure you'll find your answers haven't
changed.
Marsha reads from her test.
MARSHA
Still hate my parents? Check! Still hate my
school? Check! Still hate the government?
Check! Still hate this lousy world? Check!
Still love my music? Check! Okay, if I'm not
exactly the same, I'm close enough.
She reaches into her pocket and takes out a cashier's check, which she hands to Dr. Skinner.
MARSHA
Here's your down payment. Are they fixed yet?
DR. SKINNER
I've increased their gullibility slightly and their
tolerance greatly. They should let you get away
with just about anything.
MARSHA
I trust you didn't increase their gullibility enough
so that anyone else can steal their money!
DR. SKINNER
Only you! I get most of my business from client
referrals, so I hope you'll tell your friends.
MARSHA
Why do you do it? Why work for us, and not our
parents?
DR. SKINNER
I find teenagers are much more generous
with their parents' money than the parents are. Go
back into your new persona. I'm going to bring
them out now.
Dr. Skinner touches the remote, and Mr. and Mrs. Hopper come out of their trance.
MARSHA
Mom, Dad, thank you so much for this. You're
the best!
Mr. and Mrs. Hopper hug their daughter.
MRS. HOPPER
Oh, Marsha!
MR. HOPPER
Sweetheart, I'm going to double your allowance!
Blackout!
THE END
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SCIENCE FICTION BLAST-OFF THEATER
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© 2003 by Richard Nathan. All rights reserved
The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use. No other use may be made without the author's permission. Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express permission.
Send e-mail to the author at Richard-Nathan@att.net.