PLAYHOUSE OF THE DAMNED

"Dream Girl"

                                    by Richard Nathan 

The spotlight is up on our host, GUS THE GHOUL, while a chair is placed on the stage for the next story.  This one chair is all that is necessary.  Gus speaks to the audience:

                                                            GUS THE GHOUL
                                    Sometimes members of our audience seem
                                    to have trouble staying a wake.  When that
                                    happens, I give them one.  A wake.  If
                                    you're not ready for your own wake, pay
                                    attention to this next story.  This little
                                    nightmare is called "Dream Girl." 

Gus exits.  Lights come up on a MAN seated in a chair.  A WOMAN enters and stands behind him.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    Relax.

                                                            MAN
                                    No.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    It's not good to be so tense.

                                                            MAN
                                    Go away.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    I'm trying to help you.

                                                            MAN
                                    No.  You're not.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    What are you so worried about?

                                                            MAN
                                    If I go to sleep....

                                                            WOMAN
                                    If???

                                                            MAN
                                    If I go to sleep, you'll....

                                                            WOMAN
                                    You are asleep.

                                                            MAN
                                    I will not go to sleep.  I will not sleep.  I
                                    won't. 

                                                            WOMAN
                                    Have I ever come to you when you were
                                    awake?

                                                            MAN
                                    I don't think so.  I don't remember.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    Am I here now?

                                                            MAN
                                    I suppose.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    Then you must be asleep.

                                                            MAN
                                    Go away!

                                                            WOMAN
                                    Why are you so afraid of me?

                                                            MAN
                                    Because you stick your fingers in my brain!

                                                            WOMAN
                                    I what???

                                                            MAN
                                    You stick your fingers in my brain!  You damage
                                    me!  Every day when I wake up, after you've been
                                    here, my thoughts are less clear.  My memory is
                                    more addled.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    That's just part of the aging process.

                                                            MAN
                                    It's part of the process of you sticking your fingers
                                    in my brain!

                                                            WOMAN
                                    You feel that way because you're so tense.  Even
                                    when you sleep, you're tense!  No one can think
                                    straight when they're as tense as you are.

                                                            MAN
                                    I wouldn't be so tense if I didn't have to worry
                                    about you sticking your fingers in my brain.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    You'd feel so much better if you'd relax, enjoy a
                                    night of deep sleep, and wake up refreshed.  When 
                                    was the last time you woke up refreshed?

                                                            MAN
                                    I don't remember.  I don't think I've ever woken
                                    up refreshed.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    Of course you have.  When you were young. 
                                    Refreshed and ready to take on the world! 
                                    Wouldn't you like to feel you can take on
                                    the world?

                                                            MAN
                                    Are you insane?  Why would I want to take 
                                    on the world?  Do you have any idea how
                                    outnumbered I'd be? 

                                                            WOMAN
                                    No.  How outnumbered would you be?

                                                            MAN
                                    I don't remember.  I think the world's
                                    population is something like six and a
                                    half billion.  I'd be outnumbered six and
                                    a half billion to one.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    If you'd get a good night's sleep, you'd
                                    feel like you could do it.

                                                            MAN
                                    If I got a good night's sleep, you'd stick
                                    your fingers in my brain and I wouldn't know
                                    what I was doing!

                                                            WOMAN
                                    Have you ever heard people tell you how
                                    important it is to get a good night's sleep?

                                                            MAN
                                    Yes.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    Have you ever heard anyone tell you that
                                    it is important not to let a woman in your
                                    dreams stick her fingers in your brain?

                                                            MAN
                                    No.  No, not that I remember.

The woman starts massaging the man's shoulders and his neck.  He goes slack as she talks to him.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    Your subconscious has conjured me to
                                    tell you how much you need to rest.  How
                                    much you need to let yourself sink all the
                                    way, all the way down into the dark satin
                                    comfort of sleep.  Let go.  Surround yourself 
                                    in darkness.  Let it take you, envelop you,
                                    fold you up in its peace.  Surrender.  Let go 
                                    of your tension.  Let go.  Let go.  Let go.  Let
                                    go.

She starts massaging the back of us head.  Unseen by the audience, she takes a packet of ketchup from under the collar of the shirt of the actor playing the man, opens the packet, and spreads the ketchup on her fingers.  Then she takes her ketchup-covered fingers from the back of his head, and licks off the ketchup, as though she was licking off the blood from inside his brain.

                                                            WOMAN
                                    Yum!

Blackout!  The man and the woman exit.  GUS THE GHOUL enters.  A spotlight picks up Gus.

                                                            GUS
                                    Dream Girl?  Or Scream Girl?  If you tries to
                                    steal you heart, don't tell her to stop it,
                                    because she will...  stop it...  your heart! 
                                    Stop your heart!  What's the matter with you
                                    people?  Has someone stuck their fingers in
                                    your brains? 

           

 

 

THE END