THEATER OF THRILLS AND HIGH ADVENTURE!

"The League of Fiends!"

                                                               by Richard Nathan

 

Before the lights come up, a voice introduces the story:

                                                            VOICE
                                    Few know of its existence. 
                                    Those who do, tremble at its name! 
                                    Beware!  Beware of...
                                    THE LEAGUE OF FIENDS!!!

Lights come up on a meeting of the dreaded League of Fiends.  Present are JASPER, ALEXI and HUGO. 

The only furniture necessary are some chairs. 

Jasper brings the meeting to order. 

                                                            JASPER
                                    I now call to order this meeting of the
                                    League of Fiends!  Do we have a
                                    quorum?

                                                            ALEXI
                                    Yeah, all three of us.

                                                            HUGO
                                    Not much of a league.

                                                            ALEXI
                                    Is three enough for a league?

                                                            JASPER
                                    Gentlemen!  We all know how our
                                    membership has been decimated by
                                    Francis Hearst, the Vanquisher!

                                                            ALEXI
                                    We must obliterate him!

                                                            JASPER
                                    Yes, we must.  But it won't be easy
                                    when no one has seen his face, 
                                    and lived to tell of it!

                                                            HUGO
                                    But we have to stop him before he
                                    reduces our membership to two!

                                                            ALEXI
                                    Two is definitely not enough for a league!

                                                            HUGO
                                    We'd have to call ourselves the Pair of
                                    Fiends!

                                                            JASPER
                                    I am as concerned about our declining
                                    membership as the rest of you.

                                                            ALEXI
                                    What do you propose we do about it?

                                                            JASPER
                                    I have recruited a potential new member!  I 
                                    am confident he would make a most excellent
                                    fiend!  Let me bring him in.

Jasper exits, and enters a moment later with SHERMAN KING.

                                                            JASPER
                                    Gentlemen, meet Sherman King!

                                                            ALEXI
                                    Mr. King, why do you feel we should
                                    accept you into our organization?

                                                            SHERMAN
                                    I crave power!  And I am  ruthless, with a
                                    healthy streak of sadism.

                                                            HUGO
                                    Tell us about some of your notable past
                                    fiendish experiences.

                                                            SHERMAN
                                    I've been a slumlord for many years. 
                                    Recently one of my tenants, a poor old 
                                    lady, could not pay her rent, so...

                                                            HUGO
                                    So you evicted her!

                                                            SHERMAN
                                    No, I married her, took out a million dollar
                                    insurance policy on her life, and injected 
                                    her with a virus!  It was as painful as it was
                                    lethal.

                                                            JASPER
                                    Where do you see yourself as a fiend five, 
                                    ten and twenty years from now?

                                                            SHERMAN
                                    Five years from now I plan to rule a country; 
                                    in ten years I will have conquered a second 
                                    country, and in twenty years, I plan to rule 
                                    a continent!

                                                            HUGO
                                    A continent?  Why not the world?

                                                            SHERMAN
                                    I may be a fiend, but I'm not unreasonable.  I 
                                    am willing to leave something for my fellow fiends.

                                                            JASPER
                                    I think we can all agree that Mr. King will make 
                                    a fine addition to our ranks!

Enter FELICIA THE SHARK.

                                                            FELICIA
                                    No, we can't all agree.

                                                            ALEXI
                                    Felicia the Shark!

                                                            JASPER
                                    You're not dead?

                                                            HUGO
                                    The papers said you were killed by
                                    Francis Hearst!

                                                            ALEXI
                                    The Vanquisher!

                                                            FELICIA
                                    Why don't you ask him?  He's right here! 
                                    Only you know him as Sherman King. 

                                                            SHERMAN
                                    Who is this crazy dame?

                                                            FELICIA
                                    Francis!  Don't you remember me, the
                                    woman whose car you ran off the road? 
                                    Who would have died if she hand't leapt 
                                    from her car before it burst into a fireball
                                    of hell!

                                                        SHERMAN
                                    Lady, I've never seen you before in my
                                    life! 

                                                        FELICIA
                                    Never seen me before?  When my mug
                                    was plastered all over every paper in
                                    town?

                                                        SHERMAN
                                    What are you, a lawyer?  I may have seen
                                    you in the papers, but I sure as hell never 
                                    met you in person!

                                                        FELICIA
                                    No, you just tried to kill me!

Felicia draws a gun and aims it at Sherman!  He puts his hands up and walks slowly toward her.

                                                        SHERMAN
                                    Hey!  Take it easy!  Just because we're
                                    fiends doesn't mean we can't all be
                                    friends.

Suddenly he slugs her and grabs her gun away.  Felicia crumbles to the floor.

                                                        JASPER
                                    He hit Felicia!  No one's ever done that
                                    before!

                                                        ALEXI
                                    He must be Francis Hearst!

                                                        HUGO
                                    The Vanquisher!

JASPER, ALEXI and HUGO draw their guns, and suddenly there is a firefight.

Sherman is amazingly fast.  He shoots Jasper, Alexi and Hugo before they can fire a shot!   For a moment, it looks like Sherman has triumphed.  But Jasper isn't quite dead yet.  He raises his gun and kills Sherman.  Then Jasper drops his gun.  All four mean are now lying on the floor.

Slowly, Felicia rises to her feet.  She surveys the carnage.

                                                        JASPER
                                                    (dying)
                                    He got us, Felicia.  He got us all.  But we got
                                    him.  Now it will be up to you to start a new
                                    League of Fiends.

                                                        FELICIA
                                    I don't think I will.

                                                        JASPER
                                    But you've got to.  You're the only fiend left.

                                                        FELICIA
                                    I'm not a fiend, Jasper.  Not like you, or Alexi, or
                                    Hugo, or even Sherman King.  Yeah, Sherman
                                    was a fiend.  But I'm not.  I let him take my gun,
                                    so all you fiends would destroy each other.  You
                                    see, ... my real name is Frances Hearst ... the
                                    Vanquisher!

Jasper groans and dies.

BLACKOUT!

THE END

 

 

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2005 by Richard Nathan.  All rights reserved

The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use.  No other use may be made without the author's permission.  Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express  permission.

Send e-mail to the author at Richard-Nathan@att.net.