THE ADVENTURE OF THE Giant Rat of Sumatra
by Richard
Nathan
Lights come up on SHERLOCK HOLMES and DR. WATSON.
It is important that the set have something behind which someone using a
prop can hide. It could be a table
with a tablecloth going down to the floor, or it could be a large chair with
cushions, or anything else that could hide someone.
From off-stage, we hear the voice of MRS. HUDSON.
MRS. HUDSON
(off-stage)
Someone to see you, Mr. Holmes.
HOLMES
Send him up, Mrs. Hudson.
WATSON
A new client, Holmes?
HOLMES
I never speculate when evidence
is about to present itself, Watson.
Enter MR. HENRY NEWCOMB.
WATSON
Thank you for seeing me, Mr. Holmes.
My name is Henry Newcomb.
HOLMES
Have you come about the rat?
WATSON
Really, Holmes! I thought
you just said
you never speculate.
HOLMES
Not until the evidence presents itself.
Mr.
Newcomb has presented us with
abundant evidence of his involvement
with a rat.
WATSON
What evidence?
HOLMES
Surely, Watson, as a medical man, you
immediately noticed the marks of an
animal bite on Mr. Newcomb’s right
hand. They are fading, but
they are
there for anyone to see.
WATSON
But how did you know they are from
a rat?
HOLMES
The shape of a rat’s mouth and the spacing
of its teeth are quite distinctive from
other animals, Watson.
Although I
admit this rat must be unusually large.
WATSON
You said there was abundant evidence.
HOLMES
I see not one, not two, but three grey
hairs on Mr. Newcomb’s clothing.
Hair that is too coarse to come from
a human, but just right for a rat.
WATSON
Anything else?
HOLMES
Forgive me for being indelicate, Mr.
Newcomb, but I couldn’t help noticing
that you smell of cheese, as though you
were accosted to keeping cheese in
your pockets to feed a rodent.
Am I
correct, Mr. Newcomb?
NEWCOMB
Absolutely correct, Mr. Holmes.
I want
you to find my rat. He is
extremely
valuable.
HOLMES
Tell us your story.
NEWCOMB
I’m an entertainer, Mr. Holmes.
I
perform with animals, but my most
amazing animal is Staccato
the Rat. He
is a genius among rodents, Mr. Holmes.
Remarkably intelligent and easy to train.
HOLMES
Yet he bit you.
NEWCOMB
An accident, Mr. Holmes.
When I was feeding
him his favorite cheese.
HOLMES
How did you obtain this rat?
NEWCOMB
From a sailor aboard the Matilda Briggs,
who brought him back from Sumatra.
That’s
why I call him Staccato, the Giant Rat of
Sumatra.
At this point, the prop person who is hiding behind the piece of furniture
raises a prop RAT so that it’s vicious-looking head peeps out over the top of
the furniture. Then the head goes
back down.
HOLMES
How long has the rat been missing?
NEWCOMB
Just a day, Mr. Holmes.
Someone must
have stolen him, Mr. Holmes.
I always keep
Staccato’s cage tightly locked. But
when
I went to feed him last night, the cage was
empty!
The rat’s head pops up again and then pops down.
HOLMES
Has anyone made any recent offers to
purchase your rat, Mr. Newcomb?
NEWCOMB
Yes, just last week a man told me he would
pay me twenty pounds to purchase Staccato.
I said he was not for sale at any price.
The rat’s head pops up and down again.
This time Watson notices it.
WATSON
I say! Holmes!!!
HOLMES
Not now, Watson. Describe
the man who made
the offer?
NEWCOMB
He was quite tall, thin, with a very large
head and receding hairline.
His eyes were
set deep in his head. They
had a
hypnotic quality!
HOLMES
Professor Moriarty! I’d
stake my life on it!
The rats head pops up and down.
Only Watson notices.
WATSON
Holmes!
HOLMES
Not now, Watson!
NEWCOMB
Who is Professor Moriarty?
Does he have an
animal act?
HOLMES
Only in the sense that his associates
act like beasts. Moriarty is
the Napoleon
of crime!
NEWCOMB
But what would he want with Staccato?
HOLMES
I believe you said your rat was very clever.
Moriarty would like nothing more than to
steal the crown jewels of from the Tower of
London. No human thief could
reach them,
but a trained rat…
The rat’s head pops up again. This
time Watson rushes over and grabs it.
He pulls up the rat and struggles with it.
WATSON
Holmes! Look what I have!
You are always
telling me I fail to observe things, but I
observed this when you did not!
I found
found the Giant Rat of Sumatra.
HOLMES
Watson, if you had been truly observant,
you would have remembered that I said
the rat hairs on Mr. Newcomb’s clothing
were gray. The rat you are
holding is black.
That is not the Giant Rat of Sumatra.
I fear
you are holding a London sewer rat, although
one of unusual size. From
the look of him,
I’d wager he has been in my cocaine.
Rats and
cocaine do not mix, Watson.
I’m afraid you
have a problem on your hands.
Watson struggles with the rat.
HOLMES
Come, Mr. Newcomb. We must
go at once
to the Tower of London. I am
sure that with
a little cheese, we will be able to recover
your GRAY Giant Rat of Sumatra!
Holmes and Watson leave. Watson is
left struggling with the rat.
Blackout.
THE END
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© 2008 by Richard Nathan. All rights reserved
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