Note:  Several weeks after I wrote this piece, I was reading Tom Tomorrow's wonderful book "Hell in a Handbasket" and I realized the script below is similar to his cartoon "The Republican Zone"  which he originally published in February of 2005, over a year before I wrote my piece.  My piece is different enough so that I feel I can leave it up here, but I have to acknowledge I was probably unconsciously inspired by Tom Tomorrow's work.



                                                                                        By Richard Nathan

No one is on the stage.  The voice of the HOST is heard (either from the wings or from the sound system).

                                    There is a world that exists outside the edges
                                    of the imagination, an unearthly  realm that 
                                    shamelessly rips off a classic television series 
                                    of the Nineteen Sixties.  Our lawyers have
                                    demanded that we call this place ... The
                                    Parody Zone. 

The "Parody Zone" theme music is played as the host exits.

Light do not come up yet.  We hear the voice of a network news ANCHOR.

                                    We have confirmed that a flying saucer has
                                    just landed in Washington, D.C.  We take
                                    you to the scene.

Lights come up on a television REPORTER. 

                                    This is the site where moments ago the
                                    saucer landed.  Wait!.  A wall on the
                                    side is opening!  A ramp is sliding down!  
                                    Something is coming out.  Something ...
                                    not of this earth!

Enter an ALIEN who resembles George W. Bush, carrying a book.  He has a ray gun tucked into his pocket.  He pushes the reporter aside.

                                    People of Earth.  We come in peace.

                                    Are you...

                                    Shut up!  I'm talking here!  Is that camera
                                    on?  Good!  As I was saying, we come  
                                    to bring peace to your planet.  We have
                                    good intentions.  That's because our intentions
                                    are good.  But we know you are a war-like
                                    people.  You like war.  And you have weapons 
                                    of mass destruction which you have used on your
                                    own people.  You have been evil doers.  But
                                    my people are a forgiving people, and we will
                                    forgive you one last chance to cooperate with  
                                    us.  If you refuse, we will have no choice but to
                                    blow up your planet to bits.

Enter the Host.  The Reporter and the Alien freeze while the Host is on the stage.

                                    Submitted for your approval, the occupant of
                                    a flying saucer, here to offer peace to a
                                    troubled world.  But such gifts come at a
                                    price, a price that can only be tallied ... in
                                    The Parody Zone.

Exit the Host.  

                                    I brought a book here with me, a book that
                                    tells how to bring peace to your world.  It's
                                    called "To Convert Mankind."

The Alien holds the book up.  The Reporter takes it and begins to look through it.

                                    If you join with me, together we will use
                                    this book "To Convert Mankind" to change
                                    things so that you can make a valuable
                                    contribution to the forces for peace in the

                                    Wait a minute!  The full title of this book, it's
                                    "To Convert Mankind Into Carbon-Based
                                    Rocket Fuel."

                                    Why do you say that?

                                    It's right here in the book!  In English!

                                    English?  Are you kidding me?

                                    Any idiot who could read could see
                                    what you're up to!

The reporter holds up the book and turns to the title page.  Written on it in huge letters are the title:  "TO CONVERT MANKIND INTO CARBON BASED ROCKET FUEL."  The Alien grabs the book back and looks at it.  Then he speaks into the camera.

                                    Sorry.  You shouldn't have seen that.   That
                                    version's a classified secret.

The Alien takes out his ray gun and shoots the reporter, who falls dead.

                                    Revealing classified secrets is a capital offense. 
                                    It's offensive to capital.  Besides, what that
                                    reporter said wasn't true.  I have looked into
                                    the matter, and I have found that I am not the
                                    forerunner of an alien invasion, bent on killing
                                    your entire population and converting you into
                                    rocket fuel.  And I hope my word is good enough
                                    for you.

Enter the Host.

                                    An appeal for blind trust from the most
                                    powerful being on the planet.  A situation
                                    that unfortunately is not confined ... to the 
                                    Parody Zone.


        THE END

2006 by Richard Nathan.  All rights reserved

The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use.  No other use may be made without the author's permission.  Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express  permission.

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