By Richard Nathan
The stage remains dark for SLIGHTLY longer than usual.
Then lights come up on the FIRST ACTOR and SECOND ACTOR on the stage.
The Actors are working on a laptop computer or with some other device. Long pause. The audience should be getting restless. The First Actor glances out at the audience and notices them looking at the stage.
I think they can see us! Shit!!!
No. It just looks that way sometimes.
They’re watching "the show."
No! They’re watching us!
Shit! The drugs must be wearing off!
I don’t know! Probably just now.
They look pretty dopey.
Shit. Do you think they know where they
If they just came out of it, they probably
think they’re still at the theater.
Shit. Give them more drugs, before they
see the lab.
The Second Actor uses a device as though he were spraying the air with it.
But they’ve seen us!
Shit. If we’re lucky, they’ll still think they're
seeing the actors.
[Note: If this is being performed at a venue where the audience will know the names of the actorsw, then the last line could be changed to: "If we're lucky,they'll still think they're seeing ____________ and _____________" with the blanks filled with the first names of the actors.]
But they’ve been listening! They’ve heard
what we just said. They’ll remember!
The Second Actor gets an idea, steps downstage, and addresses the audience.
So, that was our sketch.
Yeah. See, in case you didn’t get it, I'll
explain. In our sketch, you were supposed
to think we were drugging you, and you
weren’t really at the theater any more, but at
our lab where we were experimenting on you
– see, in the sketch you were supposed to think
you came out of a drug induced state and caught
us. In the sketch. It’s only a sketch. See
it was supposed to be kind of like “The Matrix”
- where people think they’re just living their lives,
but it’s not real - or that other movie about the
clones being raised for transplants. What was
Right. “The Island.”
But this is just a sketch!
Yeah. A sketch!
| We weren’t really spraying drugs and putting
you to sleep and performing experiments.
So just sit back and breathe deep. Relax. Take
your mind off of us. And enjoy the show. You’re
not being experimented on. You’re awake and
watching the show. And very, very relaxed. Hey!
Another sketch is just about to start.
And if later you wake up, and your butt’s sore,
it’s not because we performed anal probes on you.
© 2006 by Richard Nathan. All rights reserved
The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use. No other use may be made without the author's permission. Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express permission.
Send e-mail to the author at .