THE ADVENTURE OF THE REMARKABLE WORM
by Richard
Nathan
Lights come up on SHERLOCK HOLMES and DR. WATSON
in their flat at
221-B Baker Street. They are both
reading newspapers.
WATSON
My word! Here’s a remarkable
story
Holmes.
HOLMES
Don’t tell me, Watson, that Inspector
Lestrade has managed to solve a case
on his own.
Even more remarkable than that!
It
says here that Isadora Persano, the
well known journalist and duelist
was found stark starring mad with
a match box in front of him which
contained a remarkable worm,
said
to be unknown to science!
There is a knock at the door.
HOLMES
Come in, Inspector Lestrade.
Enter INSPECTOR LESTRADE accompanied by ISADORA PERSANO and COLONEL SEBASTIAN
MORAN. Persano is a middle-aged man who stark starring mad.
He carries a matchbox in which a remarkable green worm occasionally looks
out. (The worm may be a finger
puppet operated by the actor playing Persano.)
Moran is an angry younger
man.
LESTRADE
How did you…
HOLMES
I recognized your knock. I
assume this
gentleman is Isadora Persano.
PERSANO
Nnong!
HOLMES
And I believe you are Colonel Sebastian
Moran.
MORAN
We have never met.
HOLMES
I did not say we had. But I
pride myself
on my knowledge of men who are…
shall we say “dangerous“?
MORAN
Be careful of what you say, or I may
prove dangerous to you.
PERSANO
Nnong!
HOLMES
Do you deny
that you are said to be
one of the finest marksmen in England?
MORAN
The finest!
PERSANO
Nnong!
HOLMES
Watson, why don’t you examine Mr.
Persano? Something appears
to be
troubling him.
Watson approaches Persano.
PERSANO
Nnong! Nnong!
Nnong!
Persano holds out his matchbox to Watson.
Watson retreats.
LESTRADE
I have already examined him, and it is my
considered option that he is stark, staring
mad.
Nnong!
Nonsense! He is faking
because he is
afraid to duel me. He is a
coward!
Nnong!
Dueling is illegal in England.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be
said of cowardice.
It is obvious that the worm in the matchbox
has driven Mr. Persano insane.
It is not beyond the realm of possibility.
There are species of toads in the United
States and Australia that excrete powerful
substances from their skins that, if ingested,
cause sever hallucinations.
This worm
may secrete such a substance that is capable
of being absorbed through the skin.
Nnong!
Why have you brought these men to
Baker Street?
Colonel Moran was causing a ruckus.
He was demanding that Mr. Persano
engage in a duel, which, as I have said, is
illegal in England.
This Persano wrote a newspaper article
accusing me of criminal activities!
Isn’t
libel also a crime in England?
So because he claimed you were a criminal,
you have decided to prove him right by
engaging in the criminal activity of dueling?
He won’t fight. He is a
coward.
Or perhaps you are the coward.
Isadora
Persano is a well-known duelist.
He has
proven his courage many times over.
Perhaps
you sent him this worm because you
feared he might be the victor in your duel.
I have killed men for saying less.
If you believe the worm to be a fake,
perhaps you would be willing to touch it.
I would be happy to.
Holmes, are you certain this is wise?
Don’t worry, Watson, After
all these
years fighting the most dangerous
criminals in England, do you think
I would be brought low by a little
green… Nnong!
Nnong!
Nnong!
Holmes!
This is your doing, Moran!
I didn’t! It wasn’t me!
I never
saw that worm before!
from me!!!
Holmes reverts to his normal self and steps back from Moran.
HOLMES
Very well. But I suggest you
agree to
leave Mr. Persano alone, or the story of
how the great marksman Colonel Sebastian
Moran was terrified by a little green worm
will spread through the Anglo-Indian Club,
the Tankerville Club, and the Bagatelle Card
Club.
MORAN
You dare…
HOLMES
I dare. But if you agree to
leave Mr. Persano
alone, I cam promise you that no one will
hear of the story of this most remarkable worm.
MORAN
All right. You win this one,
Holmes.
But some day, we will meet again!
HOLMES
No doubt.
Moran exits. Lestrade starts to follow Moran.
HOLMES
Let him go, Lestrade.
Lestrade does not follow Moran. Persano stops acting insane.
PERSANO
Thank you, Mr. Holmes. I
don’t think I
could have kept that act up much longer.
LESTRADE
An act!!!
HOLMES
Obviously, Lestrade. Colonel
Moran
really is known as the finest shot in
England. A duel with him would have
been suicide.
PERSANO
The only way out was to pretend to be
insane.
WATSON
The pity is I won’t be able to record this
case.
HOLMES
I wouldn’t worry about that Watson.
Moran has said we will meet again.
I have no doubt that someday I will put
him safely behind bars, if not in the
gallows, and at that time you may
write what you please.
WATSON
I hope so, It really was a most
extraordinary case, Holmes.
HOLMES
Nnong, my dear Watson!
Blackout!
THE END
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© 2008 by Richard Nathan. All rights reserved
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