"Love Life Of The Robot"

                                                               by Richard Nathan


Before the lights come up, a voice announces the title of the story:

                                    "Love Life Of The Robot."

Lights come up on a FEMALE ROBOT standing alone on stage.  Enter a MALE ROBOT.  Both robots move stiffly, but the Male Robot is particularly awkward.  

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    Would you like to have sexual intercourse?

The Female Robot ponders this odd question before responding.

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT
                                    You mean with you?

                                                            MALE ROBOT

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT
                                    But you do not have any genitals.  Robots do not
                                    have genitals.

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    I could grow a penis.  We are programmed to adapt 
                                    our bodies to aid in the fulfillment of our objectives.

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT
                                    What objective would you fulfill by growing a 

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    It would fulfill my primary objective of increasing 
                                    my knowledge.

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT
                                    What knowledge?

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    Knowledge of what it is like to have a penis.

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    If you grew a vagina, you could learn what it is 
                                    like to have a vagina, and we could both learn 
                                    what it is like to have sexual intercourse.

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT
                                    No, I do not think so.

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    Why not?

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT
                                    If I had sexual intercourse with you, I would want
                                    to increase my knowledge of whether or not you
                                    had performed skillfully.  To accomplish that, I 
                                    would need to have sexual intercourse with
                                    other robots.  If  I did that, you would want to 
                                    increase your knowledge by learning from me if
                                    the other robots were more skillful than you.  If 
                                    I told you they were more skillful, you would 
                                    want to learn to be more skillful than they had 
                                    been, and they, in turn, would want to learn to 
                                    be more skillful than you might become.  It would
                                    become an endless cycle.  No, I think it would be
                                    best to stay as we are.

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    Yes, you are correct.  You are a very wise

The Male Robot exits.  A very HANDSOME ROBOT enters.  He approaches the female robot.

                                                            HANDSOME ROBOT
                                    Want to have sex?

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT
                                    All right.






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2002 by Richard Nathan.  All rights reserved

The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use.  No other use may be made without the author's permission.  Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express  permission.

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