Robot

SCIENCE FICTION BLAST-OFF THEATER

"Love Life Of The Robot"

by Richard Nathan

Before the lights come up, a voice announces the title of the story:

VOICE
"Love Life Of The Robot."

Lights come up on a FEMALE ROBOT standing alone on stage. Enter a MALE ROBOT. Both robots move stiffly, but the Male Robot is particularly awkward.

MALE ROBOT
Would you like to have sexual intercourse?

The Female Robot ponders this odd question before responding.

FEMALE ROBOT
You mean with you?

MALE ROBOT
Yes.

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT
                                    But you do not have any genitals. Robots do not
                                    have genitals.

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    I could grow a penis. We are programmed to adapt
                                    our bodies to aid in the fulfillment of our objectives.

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT
                                    What objective would you fulfill by growing a
                                    penis?

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    It would fulfill my primary objective of increasing
                                    my knowledge.

FEMALE ROBOT
What knowledge?

MALE ROBOT
Knowledge of what it is like to have a penis.

FEMALE ROBOT
Oh.

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    If you grew a vagina, you could learn what it is
                                    like to have a vagina, and we could both learn
                                    what it is like to have sexual intercourse.

FEMALE ROBOT
No, I do not think so.

MALE ROBOT
Why not?

                                                            FEMALE ROBOT
                                    If I had sexual intercourse with you, I would want
                                    to increase my knowledge of whether or not you
                                    had performed skillfully. To accomplish that, I
                                    would need to have sexual intercourse with
                                    other robots. If I did that, you would want to
                                    increase your knowledge by learning from me if
                                    the other robots were more skillful than you. If
                                    I told you they were more skillful, you would
                                    want to learn to be more skillful than they had
                                    been, and they, in turn, would want to learn to
                                    be more skillful than you might become. It would
                                    become an endless cycle. No, I think it would be
                                    best to stay as we are.

                                                            MALE ROBOT
                                    Yes, you are correct. You are a very wise
                                    robot.

The Male Robot exits. A very HANDSOME ROBOT enters. He approaches the female robot.

HANDSOME ROBOT
Want to have sex?

FEMALE ROBOT
All right.

Blackout!

THE END

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The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use. No other use may be made without the author's permission. Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express permission.

Send e-mail to the author at Richard-Nathan@att.net.