THEATER OF THRILLS AND HIGH ADVENTURE!

"Throckmorton Kane, American Spy!"

                                                               by Richard Nathan

 

Before the lights come up, a voice introduces the story:

                                                            VOICE
                                    He works for an intelligence agency so
                                    secret that it has no name.  Those few
                                    who know him, know him as Throckmorton
                                    Kane, American Spy!!!

Lights come up on the headquarters of Naja Sputatrix, international drug lord.  Secret agent THROCKMORTON KANE and his beautiful companion HILLARY MOUNDZ are tied together by chains.  A moment after the lights come up, Hillary moans and begins to raise consciousness.

                                                            HILLARY
                                    Ohhh.  Throck!  What.....

                                                            KANE
                                    Don't worry, Hillary  Our food was   
                                    drugged.  We have been captured by our
                                    enemies, brought to this place, and bound in
                                    unbreakable steel chains.  Everything is  
                                    is going to be all right. 

                                                            HILLARY
                                    Where are we?

                                                            KANE
                                    Unless I miss my guess, we are in the
                                    lair of the man who killed your brother... 
                                    Naja Sputatrix!

Enter NAJA SPUTATRIX.  He carries a pet carrier.

                                                            NAJA
                                    Quite correct, Mr. Kane.  Good evening,
                                    Miss Moundz.  Please accept my
                                    apologies for disturbing your meal, but
                                    if I had not taken the precautions I did,
                                    you soon would have been able to shut
                                    down my international empire of illegal
                                    drugs.

                                                        HILLARY
                                    You killed my brother!

                                                        NAJA
                                    He knew the risks when he accepted
                                    employment with law enforcement.

                                                        HILLARY
                                    Now I suppose you're going to kill us?

                                                        NAJA
                                    I will leave that unpleasant task to my
                                    pet, Ptolemy.  Ptolemy is a venomous cobra,
                                    one of the deadliest in all the world.  I
                                    regret to inform you that your deaths will
                                    be extremely painful.

Naja opens the carrier and Ptolemy THE COBRA comes out.  Ptolemy should be played by a large toy snake, with a thread of very fine fishing line tied to his head.  The line of thread goes through Kane's chains (near Kane's hands) hands and from there off stage, so that when the line is pulled from off stage, the snake will got to Kane.

                                                    HILLARY
                                    I hope it bites you.

                                                    KANE
                                    I suspect he has shielding that protects him.

                                                    NAJA
                                    Excellent analysis, Mr. Kane.  You are, of
                                    course, correct.  I wear an undergarments
                                    of woven steel, from my toes to my neck,
                                    including these gloves.  Only my head and
                                    my neck are unprotected, and I will not
                                    allow Ptolemy anywhere near my upper
                                    extremities.

                                                    KANE
                                    I knew you didn't have the courage to take
                                    any risks, Naja. 

                                                    NAJA
                                    Good evening, Mr. Kane.  I will leave Ptolemy
                                    to do his work.  Miss Moundz, it is
                                    regrettable that we did not meet under
                                    other circumstances.   I will return to 
                                    witness your deaths, when I hear you
                                    screaming in agony.

Naja exits.  Ptolemy slowly moves across the floor. 

                                                    HILLARY
                                    Throck!  What are we going to do?

                                                    KANE
                                    Stay calm, Hillary.  Everything is under
                                    control.  Have you noticed the cologne
                                    I'm wearing?

                                                    HILLARY
                                    Yes.  I didn't want to say anything, but
                                    it's not up to your usually standards,
                                    Throck.

                                                    KANE
                                    I knew that Naja was obsessed with snakes,
                                    and I thought he might try something like this,
                                    so I doused myself with a chemical agent that
                                    acts as a soporific to snakes. 

                                                    HILLARY
                                    It's coming closer!  Throck, I'm so frightened!

                                                    KANE
                                    It's attracted by the scent of my cologne..  But
                                    the chemical agent that attracts it will also make 
                                    the snake drowsy enough so that I should be
                                    able to grab it, right behind the head!

The snake crawls up the chains.  When it nears Kane's hand, Kane grabs it, right behind the head.

                                                    KANE
                                    Got it!  Now scream, Hillary!  Scream as
                                    thought your life depended on it!

Hillary screams!  Naja enters.  Kane throws the snake at Naja!

                                                    KANE
                                    Here, Naja!  Catch!

The actor playing Naja catches the snake, trying to make it appear as though Naja was attempting to ward off the snake's bite, but the actor manages to move the snake's mouth next to Naja's throat, as though the snake were biting Naja.  Naja screams in pain, dying horribly, finally falling dead on top of the snake!

                                                    HILLARY
                                    Oh, Throck!  How horrible!  But what
                                    will we do now?  We're chained!

                                                    KANE
                                    Hillary, didn't I tell you?

                                                    HILLARY
                                    Tell me what?

                                                    KANE
                                    I'm an escape artist!

The chains fall off Kane and Hillary.

                                                    HILLARY
                                    Oh, Throckmorton!

She kisses him.

BLACKOUT!

 

THE END

 

Click here to go to more
 THEATER OF THRILLS AND HIGH ADVENTURE!
scripts

2005 by Richard Nathan.  All rights reserved

The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use.  No other use may be made without the author's permission.  Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express  permission.

Send e-mail to the author at Richard-Nathan@att.net.