SCIENCE FICTION BLAST-OFF THEATER

"The New Adventures Of Stan Starburst:  Chapter 1 - Planet of Death!"

                                                               by Richard Nathan

 

Before the lights come up, a voice announces the title of the story:

                                                            VOICE
                                    "The New Adventures of Stan Starburst -
                                    Chapter One - Planet of Death!"

Lights come up on surface of the planet Fettatonia.  Somewhere on the stage there must be a piece of scenery on the ground, - such as a rock or a plant, that can be used to mask one character's head when he lies down on the stage at the end of this piece.

Enter our hero STAN STARBURST and his loyal sidekick TOG THE TANGORIAN.  Stan is a native of Earth.  Tog is from the planet Tangor.  They enter with ray-guns drawn, keeping a watchful eye for enemies.

                                                            STAN
                                    See any signs of dangerous indigenous
                                    life forms?

                                                            TOG
                                    Yes.

                                                            STAN
                                                    (tensing)
                                    Where?

                                                            TOG
                                    Right over there.  There's a big sign saying,
                                    "Beware of dangerous indigenous life forms!"

Tog points offstage to the sign.  Stan looks at the sign and relaxes.

                                                            STAN
                                    Good.  As we say on earth, "Forewarned is
                                    forearmed."

                                                            TOG
                                    As we say on my home planet Tangor, "Four-
                                    armed is cozy, eight-armed is a violation of my 
                                    personal space."

                                                        STAN
                                    Do you think it's safe for the girls to come out of 
                                    the ship?

                                                        TOG
                                    I don't think it's safe to leave them alone in there. 
                                    Stan, haven't you noticed, - they don't like each
                                    other?

                                                        STAN
                                    That's crazy, Tog.  Betty's the greatest girl I've
                                    ever known.  She likes everyone, and everyone
                                    likes her!

Stan takes a communications device out of his pocket and uses it to contact the ladies.

                                                        STAN
                                    Betty?  We think it is safe for you and Han-Dar
                                    to come out.  But be careful.  We've seen signs
                                    of dangerous indigenous life-forms!

                                                        TOG
                                    One sign.

                                                        STAN
                                    One sign.  But it's a big sign.

Stan turns off the communications device.

                                                        STAN
                                    The thing I don't understand is - why would
                                    Doctor Zadwick come to such a dangerous
                                    place.

                                                        TOG
                                    He was probably hoping to find a cure for
                                    something, maybe Septamyocytrosis. 
                                    You never know when you'll find some
                                    exotic plant life that will cure some
                                    horrible disease.  One of our great
                                    Tangorian doctors once found a little 
                                    purple weed that could cure death.

                                                        STAN
                                    Cure death????

                                                        TOG
                                    Unfortunately the side effect was that you
                                    developed an uncontrollable urge to
                                    clog dance.  The weed was eradicated.

                                                        STAN
                                    I thought only Earth knew about clog dancing.

                                                        TOG
                                    Every planet in the universe knows about
                                    clog dancing.  Earth is the only planet where
                                    it isn't a capital offense.

Enter BETTY COLLINS (Stan's girlfriend) and HAN-DAR, a beautifully exotic alien woman.  Han-Dar rushes to Stan and takes his hands in hers.  She flirts with Stan outrageously.  Betty glares at them.

                                                        HAN-DAR
                                    Stan!  Do you think we'll find my father here?

                                                        STAN
                                    His papers said he was going to the planet
                                    Fettatonia - and that's where we are.  Why
                                    wouldn't we find him?

                                                        BETTY
                                    Maybe he's hiding.

                                                        HAN-DAR
                                     Why would my father be hiding?

                                                        BETTY
                                    Maybe he doesn't like his relatives.

                                                        STAN
                                    Oh, Betty!  If his other relatives are as nice as
                                    Han-Dar, I'm sure he likes them all.  Tog
                                    thinks maybe Dr. Zadwick came here
                                    searching for a cure for a disease.

                                                        HAN-DAR
                                    Everyone agrees he is the only one who
                                    could find a cure for the Septamyocytrosis
                                    that's wiping out my home world!  Stan, it was
                                    so brave of you to volunteer for this mission!

                                                        STAN
                                    We're glad to do it, aren't we Betty?

                                                        BETTY
                                                    (burning with jealousy)
                                    Sure.  We couldn't be gladder.

                                                        STAN
                                    Betty, is something wrong?

                                                        BETTY
                                    No...  Yes!!!  Why do we have to keep
                                    volunteering for these missions?  Why can't
                                    we ever go back to Earth and help someone
                                    there?  Why do you have to keep losing
                                    your head over every death-trap in the
                                    universe?

                                                        STAN
                                    Betty, you know I could never lose my
                                    head over anything but you!

Enter a horrible MAN-BEAST!  (Actually, the Man-Beast is not really so horrible.  The Man-Beast is a normal man, dressed in rags, with some plastic fangs in his mouth and some markings on his face that can easily be removed with a damp cloth, so that in the next chapter he can do an on-stage transformation to a normal human - but at the moment, he is a savage Man-Beast!!!)  It roars, and attacks Stan and Tog, knocking them down before they can use their ray-guns.  Stan falls so that his head is hidden by a piece of scenery.  (Alternatively, Stan could fall down with the upper part of his body off-stage, in the wings.)  The Man-Beast reaches down and pulls off a very unrealistic prop version of Stan's head.  The Man-Beast triumphantly holds the head aloft for all to see.  Betty screams!  The Man-Beast drops the head and chases Betty off-stage.  Han-Dar runs off in terror in the other direction.

                                                            VOICE
                                    Don't miss our next exciting chapter in The New
                                    Adventures of Stan Starburst - Chapter Two -
                                    Rage of the Man-Beast!"

Blackout!

                                      
THE END

 

 

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2005 by Richard Nathan.  All rights reserved

The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use.  No other use may be made without the author's permission.  Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express  permission.

Send e-mail to the author at Richard-Nathan@att.net.