PLAYHOUSE OF THE DAMNED
"Surgery, Slice, And Everything Nice"
by Richard Nathan
The spotlight is up on our host, GUS THE GHOUL, while the set for the next story is prepared. Gus addresses the audience.
GUS
Do you feel at ease with your doctor?
Are you willing to put your glands in his
hands? Our next story is set it a hospital,
and it's guaranteed to make you sick! I
call it, "Surgery, Slice, And Everything
Nice."
Gus exits. The lights comes up dimly on a patient's private room in a hospital. The lights are dim to suggest it is the middle of the night. The PATIENT is sleeping. Enter DOCTOR HOPKINS., who takes the patient's pulse. The patient starts to wake up, but is very groggy from medication.
PATIENT
What is it?
DOCTOR
Shhhh. Go back to sleep.
PATIENT
Time for morphine.. again?
DOCTOR
Shhh. It's time for your operation.
PATIENT
Operation? You got.... wrong patient. Tumor
is.... inoperable..... Hopeless! ... Dying.
DOCTOR
If you're dying, you have nothing to lose,
do you? Trust me. I'm Doctor Hopkins. Lewis
Hopkins. I 've come to save your life. I have
to save your life!
PATIENT
Doctor Hopkins? My oncologist is Doctor
Rathman.
DOCTOR
Doctor Rathman says your tumor is inoperable.
I say I can save your life. Whose medical
opinion would you rather trust?
PATIENT
Who are you?
DOCTOR
I told you, I'm Doctor Lewis Hopkins. I
am your only chance. Just as you are my only
chance... for redemption... to prove this procedure
can work. Believe me, neither of us has any choice!
The patient tries to call for help.
PATIENT
Nurse! Nurse!
Doctor Hopkins takes a hypodermic and injects the patient, who falls into a deep sleep.
DOCTOR
When you wake up, everything will be different.
Lights slowly fade out. After an instant, the lights come back on full. The stage is brightly lit. Doctor Hopkins is gone. The patient is sleeping. After a moment, the patient stretches, yawns and wakes up, feeling great. The patient is amazed to feel so well.
PATIENT
Hey! I feel great! I feel wonderful! Nurse!
Nurse!!! Nurse!!!
A NURSE enters.
NURSE
What is it!
PATIENT
I feel better! There's no pain at all!
NURSE
Good for you.
PATIENT
It's amazing! I feel wonderful!
NURSE
That won't last.
PATIENT
It's that doctor! He's a genius! A miracle
worker!
NURSE
Who's that?
PATIENT
Doctor Hopkins! Lewis Hopkins! He cured me!
Dr. Rathman said my tumor was inoperable, but
Dr. Hopkins cured me!
NURSE
Dr. Lewis Hopkins did not cure you!
PATIENT
Yes he did! Lewis Hopkins!
NURSE
That charlatan! Lewis Hopkins was a nutcase. He
used to try experimental procedures on
patients in the middle of the night.
PATIENT
That's what he did to me! He's a genius.
NURSE
Every one of those patients died. When the
Medical Board found out what Hopkins had
done, they took away his license, and he
committed suicide. He left a note saying
there was no way he could repay what he'd
done. You still think he cured you?
PATIENT
Then, it was a ghost. A ghost who came back
from beyond... to make things right... a ghost
who came back to save my life!
NURSE
No, a ghost did not come back to save your
life!
PATIENT
Then how do you explain what happened?
NURSE
That quack came back to kill you. We're all
ghosts here. You're dead, pal. Dead, Get
used to it!
Blackout! Everyone exits. A moment later the spotlight comes up on GUS THE GHOUL.
GUS
Were you expecting a happy ending? This is
Playhouse of the Damned! That patient's
world turned upside down! You
might say
it turned autopsy turvy!
THE
END
Click here to go to another PLAYHOUSE OF THE DAMNED story
© 2005 by Richard Nathan. All rights reserved
The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use. No other use may be made without the author's permission. Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express permission.
Send e-mail to the author at Richard-Nathan@att.net.