PLAYHOUSE OF THE DAMNED

"Surgery, Slice, And Everything Nice"

                                                               by Richard Nathan

 

The spotlight is up on our host, GUS THE GHOUL, while the set for the next story is prepared.  Gus addresses the audience.  

                                                            GUS
                                    Do you feel at ease with your doctor? 
                                    Are you willing to put your glands in his
                                    hands?  Our next story is set it a hospital,
                                    and it's guaranteed to make you sick!  I
                                    call it, "Surgery, Slice, And Everything
                                    Nice."

Gus exits.  The lights comes up dimly on a patient's private room in a hospital.  The lights are dim to suggest it is the middle of the night.  The PATIENT is sleeping.  Enter DOCTOR HOPKINS., who takes the patient's pulse.  The patient starts to wake up, but is very groggy from medication.

                                                            PATIENT
                                    What is it?

                                                            DOCTOR
                                    Shhhh.  Go back to sleep.

                                                            PATIENT
                                    Time for morphine.. again?

                                                            DOCTOR
                                    Shhh.  It's time for your operation.

                                                            PATIENT
                                    Operation?  You got....  wrong patient.  Tumor
                                    is.... inoperable.....  Hopeless!  ...  Dying. 

                                                            DOCTOR
                                    If you're dying, you have nothing to lose,
                                    do you?  Trust me.  I'm Doctor Hopkins.  Lewis
                                    Hopkins.  I 've come to save your life.  I have
                                    to save your life!

                                                            PATIENT
                                    Doctor Hopkins?  My oncologist is Doctor
                                    Rathman.

                                                            DOCTOR
                                    Doctor Rathman says your tumor is inoperable. 
                                    I say I can save your life.  Whose medical
                                    opinion would you rather trust? 

                                                            PATIENT
                                    Who are you?

                                                            DOCTOR
                                    I told you, I'm Doctor Lewis Hopkins.  I 
                                    am your only chance.  Just as you are my only
                                    chance... for redemption... to prove this procedure 
                                    can work.  Believe me, neither of us has any choice! 

The patient tries to call for help.

                                                            PATIENT
                                    Nurse!  Nurse!

Doctor Hopkins takes a hypodermic and injects the patient, who falls into a deep sleep.

                                                            DOCTOR
                                    When you wake up, everything will be different.

Lights slowly fade out.  After an instant, the lights come back on full.  The stage is brightly lit.  Doctor Hopkins is gone.  The patient is sleeping.  After a moment, the patient stretches, yawns and wakes up, feeling great.  The patient is amazed to feel so well.

                                                            PATIENT
                                    Hey!  I feel great!  I feel wonderful!  Nurse! 
                                    Nurse!!!   Nurse!!!

A NURSE enters.

                                                            NURSE
                                    What is it!

                                                            PATIENT
                                    I feel better!  There's no pain at all!

                                                            NURSE
                                    Good for you.

                                                            PATIENT
                                    It's amazing!  I feel wonderful!

                                                            NURSE
                                    That won't last.

                                                            PATIENT
                                    It's that doctor!  He's a genius!  A miracle
                                    worker!

                                                            NURSE
                                    Who's that?

                                                            PATIENT
                                    Doctor Hopkins!  Lewis Hopkins! He cured me! 
                                    Dr. Rathman said my tumor was inoperable, but 
                                    Dr. Hopkins cured me!

                                                            NURSE
                                    Dr. Lewis Hopkins did not cure you!
                                   
                                                            PATIENT
                                    Yes he did!  Lewis Hopkins!

                                                            NURSE
                                    That charlatan!  Lewis Hopkins was a nutcase.  He
                                    used to try experimental procedures on
                                    patients in the middle of the night.

                                                            PATIENT
                                    That's what he did to me!  He's a genius.

                                                            NURSE
                                    Every one of those patients died.   When the
                                    Medical Board found out what Hopkins had
                                    done, they took away his license, and he
                                    committed suicide.  He left a note saying
                                    there was no way he could repay what he'd
                                    done.  You still think he cured you?

                                                            PATIENT
                                    Then, it was a ghost.  A ghost who came back
                                    from beyond...  to make things right... a ghost
                                    who came back to save my life!

                                                            NURSE
                                    No, a ghost did not come back to save your
                                    life!

                                                            PATIENT
                                    Then  how do you explain what happened?

                                                            NURSE
                                    That quack came back to kill you.  We're all 
                                    ghosts here.  You're dead, pal.  Dead,  Get
                                    used to it!

Blackout!  Everyone exits.  A moment later the spotlight comes up on GUS THE GHOUL.  

                                                            GUS
                                    Were you expecting a happy ending?  This is
                                    Playhouse of the Damned!  That patient's
                                    world turned upside down!  You might say
                                    it turned autopsy turvy!

 

THE END

 


 

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2005 by Richard Nathan.  All rights reserved

The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use.  No other use may be made without the author's permission.  Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express  permission.

Send e-mail to the author at Richard-Nathan@att.net.