BIBLICAL VALUES... PERIOD!
By Richard Nathan
George W. Bush speaks to the nation.
My fellow Americans, this is a time of crisis! Social
security is almost bankrupt. Trial lawyers are forcing our
insurance companies to quintiple our costs of doing
health care. Unlimited growth of trees and animals
are keeping us from harvesting our precious natural
resources. And some scientists tell us that some day
the sun will explode. Clearly something urgent must be
done. And I am glad to tell you I have found an answer
to all our problems. I am asking for a Constitutional
Amendment to requiring all women who are on their
periods to be temporarily relocated to settlement
camps until they are clean again. Folks, everyone knows
that I was elected because of my firm stand on moral
values, the values I learned from the Bible. And the Bible
says women who are having their periods are unclean
and must be set apart. It even says that if a woman having
a period sits on a chair, and if you later sit on that same
chair, then you're unclean! That is in Leviticus Chapter 15,
Verse 22. It doesn't even say you have to know about it!
Think about it! If my wife, Laura, were to be having her
period - she claims she's past all that, but I say you never
know, anyway, say she or some other gal having her
period sat in a chair and didn't tell me, later I might sit down
on that chair, not knowing that Laura had sat in it, and I'd be
unclean. The people of the United States of America do not
deserve to have an unclean President!!! And it's not just our
Bible that warns us about women on their periods! Even the
Koran, which is the Muslim version of our Bible, says that
menistrutation is harmful and unclean. If both the Bible and
the Koran say that women having their periods are unclean,
who's going to deny they should be put away?. Only atheists!
Atheists and maybe a few women on their periods! But are
we going to turn over our moral values over to atheists and
women having their periods? I firmly believe that none of our
problems will be solved until we stop displeasing God! That's
why I call upon Congress and the American People and also
even the Democrats to join me in amending the Constitution
to require that all women having their periods be
relocated to settlement camps. Next week, I will address the
problem of how too much government regulations is
crippling our business growth. Thank you and God
bless the United States of America.
© 2005 by Richard Nathan. All rights reserved
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