THEATER OF THRILLS AND HIGH ADVENTURE!

"How The Red Warlock of Charity Cove Saved Christmas!"

                                                               by Richard Nathan

 

Before the lights come up, a voice introduces the story:

                                                            VOICE
                                    In the old Massachusetts Bay Colony in
                                    1692 many innocent women were condemned
                                    to hang as witches.  Their only hope was -
                                    THE MIGHTY RED WARLOCK OF 
                                    CHARITY COVE!!!

Lights come up on the office of Reverend Hanesworthy in Charity Cove, Massachussettes in 1692.  There are two chairs on the set.  In one chair, sits FATHER CHRISTMAS who is tied up ropes.  His bag of gifts, which currently appears to be empty, is next to him.  He is being  harangued by REVEREND HANESWORTHY.  Hanesworthy wears a sword at his side.

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    Father Christmas indeed!  Father Satan is
                                    more like it!

                                                            FATHER CHRISTMAS
                                    I'm just trying to spread a little Christmas cheer!

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    Pagan revelry, you mean!  For your information,
                                    the we have outlawed Christmas!  There is nothing
                                    in the Bible that says Christ was born in December,
                                    nor anything that indicates that the Lord desires us
                                    to engage in any sort of revelry to celebrate His birth! 
                                    Religion is a serious matter, a solemn duty!

                                                            FATHER CHRISTMAS
                                    Surely loving your fellow man is an occasion for joy!

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    I've hanged men for saying less!

Unseen by Hanesworthy, the RED WARLOCK creeps in, with his sword drawn! 

                                                            RED WARLOCK
                                    But you'll not harm this old man!

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    The Red Warlock!!!

Hanesworthy draws his sword.  Hanesworthy and the Red Warlock prepare to fence!

                                                            FATHER CHRISTMAS
                                    Wait!  Please don't fight!  Gentlemen, it's almost
                                    Christmas Eve!  At this time of year, can't we put
                                    our petty differences aside?

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    Never!

Hanesworthy and the Red Warlock commence their sword fight.

                                                            RED WARLOCK
                                    Be reasonable.  How much harm can an old man do? 
                                    Why not let him go?

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    He's a pagan!  He claims he can perform magic!  He
                                    says his name is Father Christmas!

                                                            FATHER CHRISTMAS
                                    The Dutch call me Saint Nicholas.

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    He claims he can pull gifts out of that sack!  But only for 
                                    good boys and girls.  I looked in the sack!  It's empty!

Hanesworthy notices that the Red Warlock is not fencing as well as he has in the past.

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    You don't seem to be fencing with your usual vigor!

                                                            RED WARLOCK
                                    I don't want to hurt you on Christmas Eve.

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    Really?  I can't wait to hurt you!

Hanesworthy knocks the sword from the Red Warlock's hand.  The Red Warlock is at Hanesworthy's mercy.  But before Hanesworthy can kill the Red Warlock, Father Christmas manages to pull a club out of his sack, and he hits Hanesworthy with it.  Hanesworthy sinks to the floor, unconscious.

                                                            RED WARLOCK
                                    Thanks! I thought he said that sack was empty!

                                                            FATHER CHRISTMAS
                                    It was empty for him!  I'm afraid Reverend Hanesworthy
                                    has not been a good boy this year.

                                                            RED WARLOCK
                                    Let me untie you.

                                                            FATHER CHRISTMAS
                                    That's not necessary.  You can't imprison the spirit of
                                    Christmas!

Father Christmas shakes off the ropes that seemed to bind him.

                                                            RED WARLOCK
                                    That's amazing!  Are you really Father Christmas?

                                                            FATHER CHRISTMAS
                                    I've been thinking of trying out a new name for the
                                    New World.  How does Santa Claus sound to you? 

                                                            RED WARLOCK
                                    It sounds just fine!

Father Christmas picks up his sack and prepares to exit.

                                                            FATHER CHRISTMAS
                                    Merry Christmas, Mighty Red Warlock of Charity Cove! 
                                    Or should I call you John Pinton?

                                                            RED WARLOCK
                                    Shhhh!  I must keep my identity secret.

                                                            FATHER CHRISTMAS
                                    Your secret is safe with me!  Merry Christmas!

Father Christmas exits.  Pinton rips of his cowl and cape, wraps them around his sword, and hides it.  (He can hide it either on-stage or off, depending on whether there is a place on the set to conceal it).  Hanesworthy groans again and Pinton goes to him. 

                                                            PINTON
                                    Reverend Hanesworthy!  What happened?

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    Pinton!  When did you get here?

                                                            PINTON
                                    Just now.

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    Where are they?

                                                            PINTON
                                    Who?

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    The Red Warlock and Father Christmas!

                                                            PINTON
                                    Father Christmas?  Are you sure you weren't
                                    dreaming.

Hanesworthy thinks this over.

                                                            HANESWORTHY
                                    Maybe I was.  Yes, it must have been a dream!  The
                                    whole thing was ridiculous!  He claimed he was going
                                    to give away gifts, for free!  Who would ever believe
                                    such liberality could ever occur here in Massachusetts?

BLACKOUT!

THE END

 

 

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 THEATER OF THRILLS AND HIGH ADVENTURE!
scripts

2005 by Richard Nathan.  All rights reserved

The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use.  No other use may be made without the author's permission.  Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express  permission.

Send e-mail to the author at Richard-Nathan@att.net.