THEATER OF THRILLS AND HIGH ADVENTURE!

"Zargotz the Strong and Floop the Clever
Discover the Magic of Christmas!"

                                                               by Richard Nathan

 

Before the lights come up, a voice introduces the story:

                                                            VOICE
                                    Come sit by the feet of the old bard, as he
                                    tells tales of a time when giants roamed the world,
                                    when dragons breathed white hot fire and
                                    wizards cast spells of arcane magic, stories of
                                    Zargotz the Strong and Floop the Clever in the
                                    Age of Wizardry! 

A light comes up come up on a BARD who will narrate the story. 

                                                            BARD
                                    The time of the year calls for a Christmas 
                                    tale.  Naturally, I will tell a story of my
                                    favorite hero, the mightiest of warriors,
                                    Zargotz the Strong.  But how, you may
                                    ask, can I tell a Christmas tale of Zargotz,
                                    when Zargotz lived ages before the first
                                    Christmas.  You forget that Zargotz lived
                                    in the age of wizardry, and there is little
                                    that magic may not accomplish.  Here, then,
                                    is the tale of Zargotz and Mighty and the Magic
                                    of Christmas.  

A light comes up on the other side of the stage, where stand ZARGOTZ the Strong and his companion FLOOP the clever.  Zargotz look appropriately heroic.  Floop looks ticked off.  Floop clears his throat.  As an afterthought, the Bard remembers to mention our other hero.

                                                            BARD
                                    This tale also features Zargotz's loyal
                                    companion, Floop the Clever.

                                                            FLOOP
                                    Just once, just once I'd like to get the credit
                                    I deserve.

The Bard exits.  A YOUNG WIZARD enters.  Zargotz, Floop, and the Young Wizard strike poses of people bargaining with each other.  They remain frozen for a moment, and then they become unfrozen as we catch them in mid-conversation:

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    I will pay you a thousand thasolians.

                                                            FLOOP
                                    Look, it's like I said, we steal things.  We don't
                                    run a tour guide service.

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    I will pay you two thousand thasolians!

                                                            ZARGOTZ
                                    Floop just said....

                                                            FLOOP
                                                    (interrupting)
                                    However, there's no reason we can't diversify.  What
                                    did you want to see us steal?

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    I just want you to get me into the top chamber in the
                                    tower of Gardnafayer the Sorcerer.  There's a device
                                    in there, a portal, I need to use. 

                                                            FLOOP
                                    What are you going to do with it?  Anything dangerous. 
                                    Dangerous costs extra.

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    I must summon a hero to protect the word from
                                    Gardnafayer.

                                                            FLOOP
                                    What's in it for you?

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    Nothing but the knowledge that I have protected the
                                    world from unspeakable evil!

                                                            ZARGOTZ
                                    By the great god Farquog, we will not charge you for
                                    our help on this noble quest!

                                                            FLOOP
                                    What Zargotz means is that he will not charge you for
                                    his help on this noble quest.  My help still costs two
                                    thousand thasolians!

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    Done!  We must defeat Gardnafayer at all costs!

The Young Wizard, Floop and Zargotz exit.  Enter the Bard on the other side of the stage.  A light comes up on the Bard.

                                                            BARD
                                    And so, Zargotz the strong, accompanied
                                    by the noble young wizard and by Floop the
                                    clever set of that night to break into the dark
                                    tower of the sorcerer Gardnafayer.  It took but
                                    a moment's effort for the potent arms of Zargotz
                                    to render the tower guards unconscious.  And
                                    then the three adventurers climbed to the chamber
                                    at the top of the tower. 

The Bard exits.  Enter the Young Wizard, Floop and Zargotz on the opposite side of the stage.  Lights come up on them.  There should be some sort of portal on this side of the stage.  The portal could be a door frame with several beaded curtains covering the passage through the doorframe.  If a having a portal onstage is not practical, the portal can be off stage.

                                                            FLOOP
                                    Looks like we're here.  What do we do next?

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    I cast the spell.

The Young Wizard faces the portal and gestures at it as he casts the spell:

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    Flaz ta kal.  On da shab.  Jodab!  The mists of time
                                    flow before me.  Centuries are passing.  I seek a hero,
                                    either from the age of men or from the world of magic,
                                    a hero who has stood the test of time, a hero that men
                                    turn to when the world goes dark and strange.  A hero
                                    for the darkest time of the year.  Strange.  I sense two
                                    heroes - one a little baby from the world of men, one a white
                                    haired old man from the world of magic.  Which should I
                                    choose?

                                                            FLOOP
                                    Choose the baby!

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    Why the baby?

                                                            FLOOP
                                    All the babies I know are weak and helpless.  If this
                                    baby is a hero that men turn to when times are dark,
                                    this has got to be an incredibly special baby.  Powerful
                                    old men are as common as dirt.

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    What do you say, Zargotz?

                                                            ZARGOTZ
                                    Floop is the clever one.  If he says to choose the baby,
                                    then I say choose the baby.

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    I will overrule you both.  The baby is from the world of men. 
                                    The old man is from the world of magic.  Obviously, he must
                                    be a powerful wizard.  I choose the old man.

The Young Wizard gestures at the portal and casts a spell:

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    Ro blar!

SANTA CLAUS enters through the portal.

                                                            SANTA
                                    Ho!  Ho!  Ho!  Merry Christmas!

                                                            FLOOP
                                    What's Christmas?

                                                            SANTA
                                    You do not know about Christmas???

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    Great wizard, no doubt you will find us ignorant
                                    of many things!

                                                            SANTA
                                    No doubt!  To begin with, I am not a wizard!  I am
                                    Santa Claus!

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    Not a wizard!  Then all is lost!

                                                            FLOOP
                                    I told  you, we should have chosen the baby!

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    We used magic to summon a hero from the future
                                    to help us defeat an evil sorcerer!

Enter GARDNAFAYER.

                                                            GARDNAFAYER
                                    An you've failed!

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    Gardnafayer!

                                                            ZARGOTZ
                                    By the great god Farquog, I will slay this evil
                                    sorcerer!

Zargotz raises his mighty sword to strike.  Gardnafayer gestures at the sword, and it falls apart.

                                                            SANTA
                                    I may not be a wizard, but I think I can make
                                    everyone happy.

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    I will not be happy while I share the same world as this
                                    apex of villainy.

                                                            GARDNAFAYER
                                    Nor will I be happy while this puppy lives in my world.

                                                            SANTA
                                    And there is no reason why you should!  Now, Gardnafayer,
                                    I understand you are an evil sorcerer.

                                                            GARDNAFAYER
                                    Evil is such a judgmental terms.  Let us say that I am
                                    ambitious.

                                                            SANTA
                                    The greatest ambitious sorcerers I know of were in
                                    the Tales of the Arabian Nights.  Why not go to that
                                    world?

                                                            GARDNAFAYER
                                    I have decided to take over this world!

                                                            SANTA
                                    Then you are doomed to disappointment.  I am from the
                                    future, and there is no record of this world every being ruled
                                    by you.  Why not try the world of the Tales of the Thousand
                                    and One Arabian Nights?  It is a world of magic where
                                    some ambitious sorcerers accomplished great things. 
                                    Those tales will live through the ages, and you might be
                                    one of those ambitious sorcerers!!!

Gardnafayer thinks this over and then decides to accept the offer.

                                                            GARDNAFAYER
                                    I sense I can trust you.  Thank you,  --  what did you
                                    say your name was?

                                                            SANTA CLAUSE
                                    Santa Claus.

                                                            GARDNAFAYER
                                    Thank you, Santa Claus.  I will go to the magic world
                                    of the Arabian Nights!

Gardnafayer performs some magical gestures and exits through the portal.

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    What about me?

                                                            SANTA
                                    What is your name?

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    I am called Merlin.

                                                            SANTA
                                    I believe you would be happiest in the magical
                                    world of King Arthur!

                                                            YOUNG WIZARD
                                    Your word is good enough for me.

The Young Wizard (Merlin) performs some magical gestures and exits through the portal.

                                                            ZARGOTZ
                                    What of us?

                                                            FLOOP
                                    I'm not going to another world!

                                                            SANTA
                                    I do not expect you to go anywhere.  But I have gifts for
                                    you.  Zargotz, here is a new sword for you!

Santa reaches into his sack of gifts and brings out a new sword for Zargotz, to replace the one that Gardnafayer broke.

                                                            FLOOP
                                    Do you have something in there for me?

                                                            SANTA
                                    Not in this bag.  Bu your gift is on its way, Floop. 
                                    Be patient!  I believe you will find it is exactly what
                                    you wanted.  And have a very merry Christmas!!!

Santa exits through the portal.  Floop looks around.

                                                            FLOOP 
                                    So where's the gift?

The Bard enters on the other side of the stage.

                                                            BARD
                                    Thus concludes the stirring adventure of
                                    Floop the Clever, whose brilliant mind will be
                                    celebrated throughout the ages.  Also in this
                                    story was Floop's loyal sidekick, Zargotz the
                                    Strong.

Floop is delighted.

 

BLACKOUT!

THE END

 

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 THEATER OF THRILLS AND HIGH ADVENTURE!
scripts

2005 by Richard Nathan.  All rights reserved

The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use.  No other use may be made without the author's permission.  Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express  permission.

Send e-mail to the author at Richard-Nathan@att.net.